Gloom-be-Gone

I got past the gloom of last week and am feeling far more optimistic and sunny.  Which, really, is not necessarily my natural state.  For many years I bordered on pessimism and trawled the waters of negativity.  Things slowly began to change for me when I hit 40 and promptly had a stroke (which I detailed in my first post).  Now almost 4 years removed from the “event” (doctors like to use that word rather than say “that time you had a stroke that triggered the seizure?  Remember?”  I guess “event” sounds less terrible) I feel less likely to fall into a funk.   I wake up, nothing has fallen off in the night, I am not disoriented or having any event, everyone important to me is in pretty good shape, I have my friends, I have my family and, much to my delight, I have my boyfriend.   Everything else is gravy.   For someone who took anti-depressants at one time this is huge.

Now some would say I live in a fool’s paradise.  That eventually I will work again.  And be back to commuting and dealing with all the ridiculousness corporate America dishes up.  And get back to being bummed.  But after a year of not having work define any part of me, I feel like I know who I am much better, like who I am and can really cope with the rest.  Relish what I enjoy about any given job, do it all to the best of my ability, and label the rest as just the annoyance you put up with for a steady paycheck and health insurance.  

Just the same I bought tickets for tomorrow night’s megamillions drawing.

I am amazed at myself.  I have killed a cactus.  How?  How can you kill a cactus?  I don’t know.  I followed the watering directions (few and far between).  Maybe I left it in the wrong kind of light.   I have never been good with plants.  Maybe it is a good thing I don’t have kids.  If I can kill a cactus for God’s sake! 

Well it is time for Jeopardy!  I get lots of answers right.  I would try out but KNOW that the day I was on every category would have to do with math and science, my buzzer would stick and I would get all sweaty on TV.   Not with all those people watching, thank you!

Later gator.